The Happy Cat Rating System for Cat Lovers and the Faint of Heart
John Joseph Adams | March 4th 2010 at 5:04 am
It has come to our attention that some reviewers have asserted that, in Ellen Datlow’s anthology Tails of Wonder and Imagination, "you’ll find cats being burned alive, skinned, tortured by evil scientists, strangled by psychos, and murdered in at least a dozen horrific ways." We at Night Shade wanted to assure our readers that relatively very few cats were harmed in the making of this anthology.
In order to reassure cat lovers who are fearful of accidentally coming across a tale of a cat being harmed, we have created this handy little guide:
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5 Happy Cats = No cat harmed whatsoever
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4 Happy Cats = A cat gets roughed up
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3 Happy Cats = A cat dies on-stage
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2 Happy Cats = A cat dies off-stage
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1 Happy Cat = A cat is tortured (the happy one is the one not being tortured)
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Through the Looking Glass (excerpt) 5 Happy Cats
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No Heaven Will Not Ever Heaven Be… 5 Happy Cats
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The Price 4 Happy Cats
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Dark Eyes, Faith, and Devotion 5 Happy Cats
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Not Waving 2 Happy Cats
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Catch 3 Happy Cats
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The Manticore Spell 5 Happy Cats
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Catskin 3 Happy Cats
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Mieze Corrects an Incomplete 5 Happy Cats
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Guardians 5 Happy Cats
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Life Regarded as a Jigsaw Puzzle 1 Happy Cat
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Gordon, the Self-Made Cat 5 Happy Cats
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The Jaguar Hunter 5 Happy Cats
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Arthur’s Lion 5 Happy Cats
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Pride 5 Happy Cats
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The Burglar Takes a Cat 5 Happy Cats
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The White Cat 3 Happy Cats
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Returns 2 Happy Cats
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Puss-Cat 5 Happy Cats
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Cat in Glass 5 Happy Cats
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Coyote Peyote 5 Happy Cats
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The Poet and the Inkmaker’s Daughter 5 Happy Cats
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The Night of the Tiger 2 Happy Cats
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Every Angel is Terrifying 3 Happy Cats
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Candia 5 Happy Cats
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Mbo 5 Happy Cats
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Bean Bag Cats® 4 Happy Cats
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Antiquities 3 Happy Cats
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The Manticore’s Tale 5 Happy Cats
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In Carnation 5 Happy Cats
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Old Foss is the Name of His Cat 5 Happy Cats
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A Safe Place to Be 5 Happy Cats
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Nine Lives to Live 5 Happy Cats
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Tiger Kill 5 Happy Cats
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Something Better than Death 5 Happy Cats
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Dominion 5 Happy Cats
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Tiger in the Snow 5 Happy Cats
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The Dweller in High Places 5 Happy Cats
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The Puma 1 Happy Cat
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Healing Benjamin 3 Happy Cats
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Look at all those Happy Cats! We hope this puts our cat-loving fans’ minds at ease.
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