UNIQUE
CHICKEN GOES IN REVERSE
Andy
Duncan
Father
Leggett stood on the sidewalk and looked up at the three narrow stories of gray
brick that was 207 East Charlton Street. Compared to the other edifices on
Lafayette Square—the Colonial Dames fountain, the Low house, the Turner
mansion, the cathedral of course—this house was decidedly ordinary, a reminder
that even Savannah had buildings that did only what they needed to do, and
nothing more.
He looked again at
the note the secretary at St. John the Baptist had left on his desk. Wreathed
in cigarette smoke, Miss Ingrid fielded dozens of telephone calls in an
eight-hour day, none of which were for her, and while she always managed to
correctly record addresses and phone numbers on her nicotine-colored note
paper, the rest of the message always emerged from her smudged No. 1 pencils as
four or five words that seemed relevant at the time but had no apparent
grammatical connection, so that reading a stack of Miss Ingrid’s messages back
to back gave one a deepening sense of mystery and alarm, like intercepted
signal fragments from a trawler during a hurricane. This note read:
OCONNORS
MARY
PRIEST?
CHICKEN!
And then the address.
Pressed for more information, Miss Ingrid had shrieked with laughter and said,
“Lord, Father, that was two hours ago! Why don’t you ask me an easy one
sometime?” The phone rang, and she snatched it up with a wink. “It’s a great
day at St. John the Baptist. Ingrid speaking.”
Surely, Father
Leggett thought as he trotted up the front steps, I wasn’t expected to bring
a chicken?
The bell was
inaudible, but the door was opened immediately by an attractive but austere
woman with dark eyebrows. Father Leggett was sure his sidewalk dithering had
been patiently observed.
“Hello, Father.
Please come in. Thank you for coming. I’m Regina O’Connor.”
She ushered him into
a surprisingly large, bright living room. Hauling himself up from the settee
was a rumpled little man in shirtsleeves and high-waisted pants who moved
slowly and painfully, as if he were much larger.
“Welcome, Father.
Edward O’Connor, Dixie Realty and Construction.”
“Mr. O’Connor. Mrs.
O’Connor. I’m Father Leggett, assistant at St. John for—oh, my goodness, two
months now. Still haven’t met half my flock, at least. Bishop keeps me hopping.
Pleased to meet you now, though.” You’re babbling, he told himself.
In the act of shaking
hands, Mr. O’Connor lurched sideways with a wince, nearly falling. “Sorry,
Father. Bit of arthritis in my knee.”
“No need to apologize
for the body’s frailties, Mr. O’Connor. Why, we would all be apologizing all the
time, like Alphonse and Gaston.” He chuckled as the O’Connors, apparently not
readers of the comics supplement, stared at him. “Ahem. I received a message at
the church, something involving …” The O’Connors didn’t step into the pause to
help him. “Involving Mary?”
“We’d like for you to
talk to her, Father,” said Mrs. O’Connor. “She’s in the back yard, playing.
Please, follow me.”
The back of the house
was much shabbier than the front, and the yard was a bare dirt patch bounded on
three sides by a high wooden fence of mismatched planks. More brick walls were
visible through the gaps. In one corner of the yard was a large chicken coop
enclosed by a smaller, more impromptu wire fence, the sort unrolled from a
barrel-sized spool at the hardware store and affixed to posts with bent nails.
Several dozen chickens roosted, strutted, pecked. Father Leggett’s nose
wrinkled automatically. He liked chickens when they were fried, baked or, with
dumplings, boiled, but he always disliked chickens at their earlier, pre-kitchen
stage, as creatures. He conceded them a role in God’s creation purely for their
utility to man. Father Leggett tended to respect things on the basis of their
demonstrated intelligence, and on that universal ladder chickens tended to
roost rather low. A farmer once told him that hundreds of chickens could drown
during a single rainstorm because they kept gawking at the clouds with their
beaks open until they filled with water like jugs. Or maybe that was geese.
Father Leggett, who grew up in Baltimore, never liked geese, either.
Lying face up and
spread-eagled in the dirt of the yard like a little crime victim was a grimy
child in denim overalls, with bobbed hair and a pursed mouth too small even for
her nutlike head, most of which was clenched in a frown that was thunderous
even from twenty feet away. She gave no sign of acknowledgment as the three
adults approached, Mr. O’Connor slightly dragging his right foot. Did this
constitute playing, wondered Father Leggett, who had scarcely more
experience with children than with poultry.
“Mary,” said Mrs.
O’Connor as her shadow fell across the girl. “This is Father Leggett, from St.
John the Baptist. Father Leggett, this is Mary, our best and only. She’s in
first grade at St. Vincent’s.”
“Ah, one of Sister
Consolata’s charges. How old are you, Mary?”
Still lying in the
dirt, Mary thrashed her arms and legs, as if making snow angels, but said
nothing. Dust clouds rose.
Her father said,
“Mary, don’t be rude. Answer Father’s question.”
“I just did,” said
Mary, packing the utterance with at least six syllables. Her voice was
surprisingly deep. She did her horizontal jumping jacks again, counting off
this time. “One. Two. Three. Five.”
“You skipped four,”
Father Leggett said.
“You would, too,” Mary
said. “Four was hell.”
“Mary.”
This one word from
her mother, recited in a flat tone free of judgment, was enough to make the
child scramble to her feet. “I’m sorry, Mother and Father and Father, and I beg
the Lord’s forgiveness.” To Father Leggett’s surprise, she even curtsied in no
particular direction—whether to him or to the Lord, he couldn’t tell.
“And well you might,
young lady,” Mr. O’Connor began, but Mrs. O’Connor, without even raising her
voice, easily drowned him out by saying simultaneously:
“Mary, why don’t you
show Father Leggett your chicken?”
“Yes, Mother.” She
skipped over to the chicken yard, stood on tiptoe to unlatch the gate, and
waded into the squawking riot of beaks and feathers. Father Leggett wondered
how she could tell one chicken from all the rest. He caught himself holding his
breath, his hands clenched into fists.
“Spirited child,” he
said.
“Yes,” said Mrs.
O’Connor. Her unexpected smile was dazzling.
Mary relatched the
gate and trotted over with a truly extraordinary chicken beneath one arm. Its
feathers stuck out in all directions, as if it had survived a hurricane. It
struggled not at all, but seemed content with, or resigned to, Mary’s
attentions. The child’s ruddy face showed renewed determination, and her mouth
looked ever more like the dent a thumb leaves on a bad tomato.
“What an odd-looking
specimen,” said Father Leggett, silently meaning both of them.
“It’s frizzled,” Mary
said. “That means its feathers grew in backward. It has a hard old time of it,
this one.”
She set the chicken
down and held up a pudgy, soiled index finger. The chicken stared at the digit,
rapt. The child took one step toward the bird, which took one corresponding
step back. The child stepped forward again, and the bird retreated another
step, still focused on her finger—its topmost joint slightly crooked, its nail
gnawed to the quick. Third step, fourth step, fifth step. The chicken walked
backward as if hypnotized, its steps both deliberate and without volition, like
the plod of a marionette in unskilled hands.
“Remarkable. And
what’s your chicken’s name, my child?”
She flung down a
handful of seed and said, “Jesus Christ.”
Father Leggett sucked
in a breath. Behind him, Mrs. O’Connor coughed. Father Leggett tugged at his
earlobe, an old habit. “What did you say, young lady?”
“Jesus Christ,” she
repeated, in the same dispassionate voice in which she had said, “Mary
O’Connor.” Then she rushed the chicken, which skittered around the yard as Mary
chased it, chanting in a singsong, “Jesus Christ Jesus Christ Jesus Christ.”
Father Leggett looked
at her parents. Mr. O’Connor arched his eyebrows and shrugged. Mrs. O’Connor,
arms folded, nodded her head once. She looked grimly satisfied. Father Leggett
turned back to see chicken and child engaged in a staring contest. The chicken
stood, a-quiver; Mary, in a squat, was still.
“Now, Mary,” Father
Leggett said. “Why would you go and give a frizzled chicken the name of our
Lord and Savior?”
“It’s the best name,”
replied Mary, not breaking eye contact with the chicken. “Sister Consolata says
the name of Jesus is to be cherished above all others.”
“Well, yes, but—”
The hypnotic bond
between child and chicken seemed to break, and Mary began to skip around the
yard, raising dust with each stomp of her surprisingly large feet. “And he’s
different from all the other chickens, and the other chickens peck him but he
never pecks back, and he spends a lot of his time looking up in the air,
praying, and in Matthew Jesus says he’s a chicken, and if I get a stomachache
or an earache or a sore throat, I come out here and play with him and it gets
all better just like the lame man beside the well.”
Father Leggett turned
in mute appeal to the child’s parents. Mr. O’Connor cleared his throat.
“We haven’t been able
to talk her out of it, Father.”
“So we thought we’d
call an expert,” finished Mrs. O’Connor.
I wish you had,
thought Father Leggett. At his feet, the frizzled chicken slurped up an
earthworm and clucked with contentment.
The first thing
Father Leggett did, once he was safely back at the office, was to reach down
Matthew and hunt for the chicken. He found it in the middle of Christ’s lecture
to the Pharisees, Chapter 23, Verse 37: “O Jerusalem, Jerusalem, thou that
killest the prophets, and stonest them which are sent unto thee, how often
would I have gathered thy children together, even as a hen gathereth her
chickens under her wings, and ye would not!”
Mrs. O’Connor
answered the phone on the first ring. “Yes,” she breathed, her voice barely
audible.
“It’s Father Leggett,
Mrs. O’Connor. Might I speak to Mary, please?”
“She’s napping.”
“Oh, I see. Well, I
wanted to tell her that I’ve been reading the Scripture she told me about, and
I wanted to thank her. It’s really very interesting, the verse she’s latched on
to. Christ our Lord did indeed liken himself to a hen, yes, but he didn’t mean
it literally. He was only making a comparison. You see,” he said, warming to
his subject, to fill the silence, “it’s like a little parable, like the story
of the man who owned the vineyard. He meant God was like the owner of
the vineyard, not that God had an actual business interest in the wine
industry.”
Mrs. O’Connor’s
voice, when it finally came, was flat and bored.
“No disrespect meant,
Father Leggett, but Edward and I did turn to the Scriptures well upstream of
our turning to you, and by now everyone in this household is intimately
acquainted with Matthew 23:37, its histories, contexts and commentaries. And
yet our daughter seems to worship a frizzled chicken. Have you thought of
anything that could explain it?”
“Well, Mrs.
O’Connor—”
“Regina.”
“Regina. Could it be
that this chicken is just a sort of imaginary playmate for the girl? Well, not
the chicken, that’s real enough, but I mean the identity she has created for
it. Many children have imaginary friends, especially children with no siblings,
like Mary.”
“Oh, I had one of
those,” she said. “A little boy named Bar-Lock, who lived in my father’s Royal
Bar-Lock typewriter.”
“There, you see. You
know just what I’m talking about.”
“But I never thought
Bar-Lock was my lord and savior!”
“No, but ‘lord and
savior’ is a difficult idea even for an adult to grasp, isn’t it? By projecting
it onto a chicken, Mary makes the idea more manageable, something she can hold
and understand. She seems happy, doesn’t she? Content? No nightmares about her
chicken being nailed to a cross? And as she matures, in her body and in her
faith, she’ll grow out if it, won’t need it anymore.”
“Well, perhaps,” she
said, sounding miffed. “Thank you for calling, Father. When Mary wakes up, I’ll
tell her you were thinking about her, and about her imaginary Jesus.”
She broke the
connection, leaving Father Leggett with his mouth open. The operator’s voice
squawked through the earpiece.
“Next connection,
please. Hello? Hello?”
That night, Father
Leggett dreamed about a frizzled chicken nailed to a cross. He woke with the
screech in his ears.
The never-ending
crush of church business enabled Father Leggett to keep putting off a return
visit to the O’Connors, as the days passed into weeks and into months, but
avoiding chickens, and talk of chickens, was not so easy. He began to wince
whenever he heard of them coming home to roost, or being counted before they
were hatched, of politicians providing them in every pot.
The dreams continued.
One night the human Jesus stood on the mount and said, “Blessed are the
feedmakers,” then squatted and pecked the ground. The mob squatted and pecked
the ground, too. Jesus and His followers flapped their elbows and clucked.
Worst of all was the
gradual realization that for every clergyman in Georgia, chicken was an
occupational hazard. Most families ate chicken only on Sundays, but any day
Father Leggett came to visit was de facto Sunday, so he got served chicken all
the time—breasts, legs, livers and dumplings, fried, baked, boiled, in salads,
soups, broths and stews, sautéed, fricasseed, marengoed, a la kinged,
cacciatored, casseroled. Of all this chicken, Father Leggett ate ever smaller
portions. He doubled up on mustard greens and applesauce. He lost weight.
“Doubtless you’ve
heard the Baptist minister’s blessing,” the bishop told him one day:
“I’ve had chicken
hot, and I’ve had chicken cold.
“I’ve had chicken
young, and I’ve had chicken old.
“I’ve had chicken
tender, and I’ve had chicken tough.
“And thank you,
Lord, I’ve had chicken enough.”
Since the bishop had
broached the subject, in a way, Father Leggett took the opportunity to tell him
about his visit with the O’Connor child, and the strange theological musings it
had inspired in him. The bishop, a keen administrator, got right to the heart
of the matter.
“What do you mean,
frizzled?”
Father Leggett tried
as best he could to explain the concept of frizzled to the bishop, finally
raking both hands through his own hair until it stood on end.
“Ah, I see. Sounds
like some kind of freak. Best to wring its neck while the child’s napping. She
might catch the mites.”
“Oh, but sir, the
girl views this chicken as a manifestation of our Lord.”
“Our Lord was no
freak,” the bishop replied. “He was martyred for our sins, not pecked to death
like a runty chicken.”
“They seem to have a
real bond,” Father Leggett said. “Where you and I might see only a walking
feather duster, this child sees the face of Jesus.”
“People see the face
of Jesus all over,” the bishop said, “in clouds and stains on the ceiling and
the headlamps of Fords. Herbert Hoover and Father Divine show up in the same
places, if you look hard enough. It’s human nature to see order where there is
none.”
“She trained it to
walk backward on command. That’s order from chaos, surely. Like the hand of God
on the face of the waters.”
“You admire this
child,” the bishop said.
I envy her, Father
Leggett thought, but what he said was, “I do. And I fear for her faith, if
something were to happen to this chicken. They don’t live long, you know, even
if they make it past Sunday dinner. They aren’t parrots or turtles, and
frizzles are especially susceptible to cold weather. I looked it up.”
“Best thing for her,”
the bishop said. “Get her over this morbid fascination. You, too. Not healthy
for a man of the cloth to be combing Scripture for chickens. Got to see the
broader picture, you know. Otherwise, you’re no better than the snake handlers,
fixated on Mark 16: 17-18. ‘And these signs shall follow them that believe; in
my name shall they cast out devils; they shall speak with new tongues; they
shall take up serpents; and if they drink any deadly thing, it shall not hurt
them; they shall lay hands on the sick, and they shall recover.’”
“Perhaps this child
has taken up a chicken,” Father Leggett said, “as another believer would take
up a snake.”
“Not to worry, son,”
the bishop said. “Little Mary’s belief will outlive this chicken, I reckon.
Probably outlive you and me, too. Come in, Ingrid!”
A cloud of cigarette
smoke entered the office, followed by Ingrid’s head around the door. “Lunch is
ready,” she said.
“Oh, good. What’s
today’s bill of fare?”
“Roast chicken.”
“I’m not hungry,”
Father Leggett quickly said.
The bishop laughed.
“To paraphrase: ‘If they eat any deadly thing, it shall not hurt them.’”
“Mark 16:18 wasn’t in
the original gospel,” Ingrid said. “The whole twelve-verse ending of the book
was added later, by a scribe.”
The bishop looked
wounded. “An inspired scribe,” he said.
“Wash your hands,
both of you,” Ingrid said, and vanished in a puff.
“She’s been raiding
the bookcase again,” the bishop growled. “It’ll only confuse her.”
As he picked at his
plate, Father Leggett kept trying to think of other things, but couldn’t. “They
shall lay hands on the sick, and they shall recover.” Mary O’Connor had placed
her hands upon a frizzled chicken and … hadn’t healed it, exactly, for it was
still a ridiculous, doomed creature, but had given it a sort of mission. A
backward purpose, but a purpose nonetheless.
That day Father
Leggett had a rare afternoon off, so he went to the movies. The cartoon was
ending as he entered the auditorium, and he fumbled to a seat in the glare of
the giant crowing rooster that announced the Pathe Sound News. Still out of
sorts, he slumped in his seat and stared blankly at the day’s doings, reduced
to a shrilly narrated comic strip: a ship tossing in a gale, two football teams
piling onto one another, Clarence Darrow defending a lynch mob in Hawaii, a
glider soaring over the Alps—but the next title took his breath.
UNIQUE CHICKEN GOES IN REVERSE
“In Savannah,
Georgia, little Mary O’Connor, age five, trains her pet chicken to walk
backward!”
And there on screen,
stripped of sound and color and all human shading, like Father Leggett’s very
thoughts made huge and public, were Mary and her frizzled chicken. As he gaped
at the capering giants, he was astonished by the familiarity of the O’Connor back
yard, how easily he could fill in the details past the square edges of the
frame. One would think he had lived there, as a child. He thought he might
weep. The audience had begun cheering so at “Savannah, Georgia,” that much of
the rest was inaudible, but Father Leggett was pretty sure that Jesus wasn’t
mentioned. The cameraman had captured only a few seconds of the chicken
actually walking backward; the rest was clearly the film cranked in reverse,
and the segment ended with more “backward” footage of waddling ducks, trotting
horses, grazing cattle. The delighted audience howled and roared. Feeling sick,
Father Leggett lurched to his feet, stumbled across his neighbors to the aisle,
and fled the theater.
He went straight to
the upright house on Lafayette Square, leaned on the bell until Mrs. O’Connor
appeared, index finger to her lips.
“Shh! Please, Father,
not so loud,” she whispered, stepping onto the porch and closing the door
behind. “Mr. O’Connor has to rest, afternoons.”
“Beg pardon,” he
whispered. “I didn’t realize, when I bought my ticket, that your Mary has
become a film star now.”
“Oh, yes,” she said,
with an unexpected laugh, perching herself on the banister. “She’s the next
Miriam Hopkins, I’m sure. It was the chicken they were here for. Edward called
them. Such a bother. Do you know, they were here an hour trying to coax it to
walk two steps? Stage fright, I suppose. I could have strangled the wretched
thing.”
“I’ve been remiss in
not calling sooner. And how is Mary doing?”
“Oh, she’s fine.” Her
voice was approaching its normal volume. “Do you know, from the day the
cameramen visited, she seemed to lose interest in Jesus? Jesus the chicken, I
mean. It’s as if the camera made her feel foolish, somehow.”
“May I see her?”
“She’s out back, as
usual.” She glanced at the door, then whispered again. “Best to go around the
house, I think.”
She led the way down
the steps and along a narrow side yard—a glorified alleyway, really, with brick
walls at each elbow—to the back yard, where Mary lay in the dirt, having a fit.
“Child!” Father
Leggett cried, and rushed to her.
She thrashed and
kicked, her face purple, her frown savage. Father Leggett knelt beside her,
seized and—with effort—held her flailing arms. Her hands were balled into
fists. “Child, calm yourself. What’s wrong?”
Suddenly still, she
opened her eyes. “Hullo,” she said. “I’m fighting.”
“Fighting what?”
“My angel,” she said.
He caught himself
glancing around, as if Saint Michael might be behind him. “Oh, child.”
“Sister Consolata
says I have an invisible guardian angel that never leaves my side, not even
when I’m sleeping, not even when I’m in the potty.” This last word was
whispered. “He’s always watching me, and following me, and being a pain, and
one day I’m going to turn around and catch him and knock his block off.”
She swung her fists again and pealed with laughter.
Mary’s mother stood
over them, her thin mouth set, her dark brows lowered, looking suddenly
middle-aged and beautiful. Her default expression was severity, but on her,
severity looked good. How difficult it must be, Father Leggett thought, to have
an only child, a precocious child, any child.
“Mary, I’ve got
cookies in the oven.”
She sat up.
“Oatmeal?”
“Oatmeal.”
“With raisins and
grease?”
“With raisins and
grease.” She leaned down, cupped her hands around her mouth, and whispered,
“And we won’t let that old angel have a one.”
Mary giggled.
“You’re welcome to
join us, Father. Father?”
“Of course, thank
you,” said Father Leggett, with an abstracted air, not turning around, as he
walked slowly toward the chicken yard. The frizzled one was easy to spot; it
stood in its own space, seemingly avoided by the others. It walked a few steps
toward the gate as the priest approached.
Father Leggett felt
the gaze of mother and child upon him as he lifted the fishhook latch and
creaked open the gate. The chickens nearest him fluttered, then stilled, but
their flutter was contagious. It passed to the next circle of chickens, then
the next, a bit more violent each time. The outermost circle of chickens
returned it to the body of the flock, and by the time the ripple of unease had
reached Father Leggett, he had begun to realize why so many otherwise brave
people were (to use a word he had learned only in his recent weeks of study)
alektorophobes. Only the frizzled Jesus seemed calm. Father Leggett stepped
inside, his Oxfords crunching corn hulls and pebbles. He had the full attention
of the chickens now. Without looking, he closed the gate behind. He walked
forward, and the milling chickens made a little space for him, an
ever-shifting, downy clearing in which he stood, arms at his sides, holding his
breath. The frizzle stepped to the edge of this clearing, clucked at him. The
hot air was rich with the smells of grain, bad eggs and droppings. A crumpled washtub
held brackish water. Feathers floated across his smudged reflection. He closed
his eyes, slowly lifted his arms. The chickens roiled. Wings beat at his shins.
He reached as far aloft as he could and prayed a wordless prayer as the chicken
yard erupted around him, a smothering cloud that buffeted his face and chest
and legs. He was the center of a tornado of chickens, their cackles rising and
falling like speech, a message that he almost felt he understood, and with
closed eyes he wept in gratitude, until Jesus pecked him in the balls.
One afternoon years
later, during her final semester at the women’s college in Milledgeville, Mary
O’Connor sat at her desk in the Corinthian office, leafing through the
Atlanta paper, wondering whether the new copy of the McMurray Hatchery catalog
(“All Flocks Blood Tested”) would be waiting in the mailbox when she got home.
Then an article deep inside the paper arrested her attention.
Datelined Colorado,
it was about a headless chicken named Mike. Mike had survived a Sunday-morning
beheading two months previous. Each evening Mike’s owners plopped pellets of
feed down his stumpy neck with an eyedropper and went to bed with few illusions,
and each morning Mike once again gurgled up the dawn.
She read and reread
the article with the deepest satisfaction. It reminded her of her childhood,
and in particular of the day she first learned the nature of grace.
She clipped the
article and folded it in half and in half and in half again until it was furled
like Aunt Pittypat’s fan and sheathed it in an envelope that she addressed to
Father Leggett, care of the Cathedral of St. John the Baptist in Savannah.
Teaching a headless chicken to walk backward: that would be real
evangelism. On a fresh sheet of the stationery her grandmother had given her
two Christmases ago, she crossed out the ornate engraved “M” at the top and
wrote in an even more ornate “F,” as if she were flunking herself with
elegance. Beneath it she wrote:
Dear Father Leggett,
I saw this and thought of you.
Happy Easter,
Flannery (nee Mary) O’Connor
When Miss Ingrid’s
successor brought him the letter, Father Leggett was sitting in his office,
eating a spinach salad and reading the Vegetarian News. He was
considered a good priest though an eccentric one, and no longer was invited to
so many parishioners’ homes at mealtime. He glanced at the note, then at the
clipping. The photo alone made him upset his glass of carrot juice. He threw
clipping, note and envelope into the trash can, mopped up the spill with a
napkin, fisted the damp cloth and took deep chest-expanding breaths until he
felt calmer. He allowed himself a glance around the room, half-expecting the
flutter of wings, the brush of the thing with feathers.
© 2007 by Andy Duncan. All rights reserved.
First appeared in Eclipse One, published by Night Shade Books.